To help me cope with my loss, I walk. I can’t stand staying in my house right now and can spend a couple of hours or more walking to get my mind off my loss. It’s like a sedative cause then I don’t think about my lost embryo, I just surround myself with my environment. Sometimes I walk through the ravine near my house and it smells like the forest. Other days I walk past Rosedale and look at the stately mansions and wonder who owns these houses and what exactly do they do to be able to afford it. lol. I have walked thru the Gay Village, Ryerson, the waterfront, Eaton Centre, West Queen West, UofT. Every community has their own vibe and I’m grateful to be able to walk around, undisturbed.
My health app basically tells me I walk 15 km a day. The weather has been ok to allow me to do it without problems. But yesterday it was so hot and muggy my body literally was overheating. I had to stop and sit for a good twenty minutes or so since I was feeling dizzy. I wish the AGO had more benches around their front area. I just sat on a step, watched the cleaners do reopening chores like cleaning the signage and tried to regain a sense of normalcy.
I love my body. I know I have asked so much from it, especially in the last two years with all these drugs. And I keep asking so much from it still. Especially if I am going to go through another round of IVF (which I’m undecided right now). I am grateful it just keeps running without major issues. I just wish it was able to help me bring life into this world.
AmyH's Life 